Internet Dad Hat

We’ve finally managed to make a hat so overwhelmingly dad, it will turn off your house lights, fall asleep on the couch watching Die Hard, and wake up and demand who moved the remote. It's the kind of hat that will make you believe in daddies again. So you're welcome, I guess.

Made from the finest faux-denim in the land, each letter is hand-stitched* with hairs from the nape of John Madden and/or Kurt Russell.

??Insulation capable of withstanding a blizzard**
??+0 resistance to emotional baggage
??Assumedly vegan/gluten-free
? Adjustable strap for one-size-fits-most
?? Does not fit on a Velociraptor

* Machine hands
** More of a guess